Why did they do it? The current Liberty and Outback are pleasant looking cars, even if they are a little bland. But they've just made it hideous. Yep, this is the new Subaru Liberty and Outback, ready to take up the fight with the Mazda6 and Honda Accord Euro - but it has huge disadvantages before it even steps into the ring with the other two.

It's clear that they tried to make the new Liberty more macho and aggressive - we now get flared wheelarches, lots of sharp surface detailing on the bonnet, and aggro, flared-up headlamps. But for some reason, they didn't complete the job. Even without noting that the face of the car looks like a stunned rabbit, you can't deny the door handles look like they've been lifted off a Toyota Yaris, the alloy wheels couldn't have been plainer if they had tried, and the rear end looks so much like a toned down Honda Accord (the other one, not the Euro) it isn't funny.

And it's not like you can take solace in the interior, either. It looks quite similar (though thankfully not the same) to the interior of the new Impreza, which is odd, because I can't think of anyone who really likes the interior in the new Impreza. It really is a shame, because I was expecting a truly wonderful new interior for the Liberty. This was, of course, because the last Liberty had a fantastic interior. In fact, I think that this one may well be a step backward:

And the Outback isn't any better. At least its face doesn't look cross-eyed like the Liberty, but at the back, we have the worst-designed reflectors I have ever seen in a long time. How hard is it to integrate reflectors into the design of a car? They look as out of place as elephant tusks on a sausage dog.

In terms of specs, we have three engine choices: a 2.5 Litre, 127kW revision of the old engine, a turbocharged 198kW version of that same engine (for the Liberty GT models) and instead of the old 3.0 Litre, we now have a 3.6 Litre 191kW six-cylinder engine which no longer requires premium grade fuel like the old one. In transmissions, you can now get a 6-speed manual as standard, but the standard automatic has now become a CVT (continuously variable transmission). It remains to be seen how much confidence Subaru have in this kind of automatic transmission, because you can only get a standard 5-speed auto in the 3.6 Litre version.

Gains have also apparently been made in interior space, which is great, but the old Liberty wasn't as roomy as it could have been, so you'd hope the gains are fairly significant. In another sign of changing priorities for Subaru, they've also fitted a dreaded electronic parking brake. A normal parking brake would have been just fine, thanks.

NEW YORK 2009: Subaru Ruins the Liberty/Outback

Holden really wants to sell some cars. They've proven their intent. The Holden Cruze, a rebadged version of GM's Chevrolet Cruze, will go on sale within six months. At that time, it won't be locally made, and Australian production will begin at Holden's Adelaide production plant. So desperate are Holden to sell some cars and turn a profit that they have accelerated the arrival of the Cruze, which originally wasn't meant to be sold until locally-made vehicles were ready. The small-car market is currently the fastest growing in Australia, and the Cruze will be sold alongside the Viva and Astra, neither of which Holden believes will be affected in sales by the new Cruze. This is primarily because the Viva will be significantly cheaper (not to mention crapper) and the Astra is only available as a hatch. The Cruze will be sedan only, and will be up against established competitors like the Toyota Corolla, Honda Civic, Mitsubishi Lancer, and Mazda3.

But Holden seems to be finally forgetting the foolish idea that because it is a Holden, it will sell. They've packed it with features that would make the aforementioned competitors weep - the full complement of 6 airbags and Electronic Stability Control will be standard on all models. Cruise control, steering wheel audio controls, and front/rear power windows will also be standard on all models.

And it's not just the features that sound impressive - the mechanicals sound just about right for this day and age. The Holden Cruze will be available with two engines: A brilliantly economical 1.8 Litre Petrol, (103kW, 6.8L/100km) and a 2.0 Litre Diesel (110kW, 5.8L/100km). Even the gearboxes are thoroughly modern and cutting edge - all Cruze models will be available with either a 5 speed manual or a 6 speed automatic. The interior design, also, appears to be functional and stylish (providing the quality of the plastics are up to scratch). The Cruze sounds just about unstoppable.

So although we have a thoroughly boring looking car (with a bum copied straight from the Honda City), we may also have a class-leader. And a car that will save the Australian automotive industry. And possibly save GM Holden from financial doom. Never has so much pressure rested on such a car - but the Cruze is readying itself for the challenge.

MELBOURNE 2009: Holden Cruze To Go On Sale in Six Months

No, this is not a new Phantom, this is an entirely new Rolls-Royce car. Designed to sit below the Phantom in the product line-up, the 200EX is what you can call a "baby" Rolls-Royce, however oxymoronic that may sound. The 200EX is still 5.4 metres long, which only sounds baby when you consider that the Phantom is 5.8 metres. Essentially, this car will compete with Bentley's ageing Arnage, and offers a more youthful interpretation of the Rolls-Royce brand.

For example, the Rolls-Royce designers decided that they wanted to make the 200EX more streamlined than the Phantom. And it is almost noticeable - the 200EX looks softer, more sporting, and more subtle (slightly) than the Phantom, which tends to look a bit like a Kenworth truck. "Approachable" was a term bandied around quite a lot in Rolls-Royce's press release for the 200EX ahead of the Geneva unveiling, so that tells you quite a bit about how much they wanted to differentiate this car from the Phantom.

This is still unmistakeably a Roller - this new one boasts a rear door maximum opening angle of 83 degrees, which is an industry record, apparently. So you can be under no illusion as to what kind of social class considers to buy ths car. But inside, there are a few subtleties that indicate a different purpose for this car: the black-on-white-background instrumentation, chrome air vents, and convenience buttons on the steering wheel. It is, of course, as sumptuous as ever.

It is an awesome new car for a very bad time period - let's hope Rolls-Royce still get lots of buyers for their new 200EX, and don't plunge into debt.

GENEVA 2009: "Baby" Rolls-Royce 200EX Concept, Say What?

This is the first teaser picture of the Opel Ampera, Opel's version of the upcoming Chevrolet Volt, and is to be fully revealed at the Geneva Motor Show in March. But of course, it is a teaser picture, and reveals nothing because of artistically dimmed light - until IN YOUR FACE digitally enhanced the image, creating this exclusive new vision of Opel's new electric headliner.

The essentials of the Ampera are pretty much the same as the Volt - you get a 65km fully electric range, and when that is all used up, a petrol combustion engine kicks in to charge the lithium-ion battery. It's called "Voltec", but whatever. This car's more environmentally than any Prius, and that rocks. From this picture, we can see that when it comes to shape, the Ampera is pure Volt - but with a drastically altered face. Actually, that's a lie. It appears to be drastically altered, but on closer inspection, we can see that the headlights remain unchanged. But the overall look is very different, so I call that a success.

In fact, we've seen this face before, on the Opel Flextreme Concept of 2007 - which was also an electric car - so I've provided a picture of that too, so you can get a better idea of how the Ampera will look. I realise that this picture of the Flextreme is an illustration, but in this illustration, the alloys of the Flextreme have been lifted and plopped right onto the Ampera, heightening the visual connections.

More importantly for us Aussies, the Ampera is the first look at what the Holden version of this stunning electric car might look like - replace the Opel badge with a Holden one, because the word on the wire is that Holden will take this instead of the Chevrolet version.

And providing it's priced well enough, I'm sure I'll put my money where my mouth is. I would buy an Ampera, that's for sure - I've been a petrolhead for too long, I reckon. It's about time I became an electrichead.

NEWS: Opel Ampera Set To Make Chevy Volt Sexy

You may have seen it advertised on the Tennis, but now you get to see what it really looks like. It's the new Kia Cerato, and despite the fact that only cheapos will buy them, I thought I'd let you know what it's all about. Kia will tell you about how cutting edge their new car is, but it's only really a Hyundai Elantra - which arrived here for sale a whole two years ago. Nevertheless, it is here to persuade you that Kia definitely mean business. I'm not too sure it works, but on the other hand, I am sure that someone out there will really like this new Cerato.

The styling is somewhat of a departure from the looks of current Kias, and debuts what will become the new corporate face of Kia. The reason for the new design is that Kia have a new head designer, Peter Schreyer, who came to Kia from Volkswagen. The Cerato is an example of the apparently distinctive new "Schreyer Line" grille - which is as unremarkable as any other grille, just that it has two extra slithers of chrome near the Kia badge.

So anyway, the way it looks. The main influence here is clearly Honda, from the shape of headlights (which look interchangeable with the new Accord Euro) to the V-shaped face design, to the shape of the rear lights and boot (which screams "Civic" to me). But I still can't shake a little sense of Ford BF Falcon in the bonnet and the side profile, even though I very well know that Kia wouldn't be influenced by a large Australian sedan that is not sold anywhere else in the world.

So yes, I do believe it is be very derivative, but rather boring and safe nonetheless. Although having said that, the new Cerato is infinitely classier than the Elantra it is based upon, and although that doesn't say much, surely this can only help Kia in their quest to be perceived as a high quality car maker.

Less helpful is the design of the interior, which here is pictured in top spec SLi form (note the little bits of piano black finish, which is becoming more and more popular everywhere, it seems). While the centre console is rather nice, the overall impression of the interior is that it is very cheap. The fake metal finish just looks like silver plastic, and while the dark overall colour of the interior is meant to give the Cerato a European ambience, the overwhelming use of what I like to call "orange peel" plastics (you know, that rough dimply stuff that tells you it's a cheap car) spoils it. It also has probably the ugliest steering wheel design I've seen for quite a while.

But the Cerato will stay cheap, with a starting price of $18,990 - which becomes even more attractive with an optional $1,000 package that includes Stability Control, Traction Control, Cruise Control, and Audio Controls on the steering wheel. I call it... the control pack. Equally impressive is the new engine, still a 2.0 Litre, but with 115kW (making it the most powerful naturally aspirated 2.0 Litre in its class), and a tidy economy figure of 7.9L/100km. And with all six airbags as standard issue, the new Cerato suddenly sounds quite attractive.

In fact, Kia reckons that only prejudice will stop them selling a heap of Ceratos this year. They've set the target of 3,000 - but regardless, I'm starting to thing it might be worth a look for people who want conservative looks and a high level of features, without having to pay a high price.

NEWS: 2009 Kia Cerato is an Interesting Mish-Mash...

The financial crisis has claimed another victim - well, sort of. The plan was for Cadillac to be launched in Australia last year, and well, that never happened obviously. But now, GM-Holden CEO Mark Reuss has gone public with the news that Cadillac will not be coming to Australia, and the plans have been well and truly shelved to gather dust. So the financial crisis didn't really claim a victim, exactly, because we never had Cadillac here down under anyway.

Cadillac was all systems go in Australia, even after it was first delayed - Cadillac showed off it's CTS Coupe at the Australian International Motor Show (formally the Sydney Motor Show, until Sydneysiders decided they were more important than that), saying it would join the CTS sports sedan to make up their first two models, both released by the end of 2009. The sedan was, in fact, meant to start selling in March.

So just before the boats set off for down under, Mark Reuss has bailed on us - it's not his fault, you understand. General Motors is, generally (forgive the pun), in a lot of strife at the moment, so the number one priority at the moment is to keep Holden above board. But, having said that, it has been confirmed that GM-owned brands Saab and Hummer will be staying in Australia for the forseeable future. We just won't be getting any more GM brands for a while yet. Mark Reuss had this to say on the demise of the Cadillac Australia project:

“There is only one chance to properly launch this brand in Australia and in these challenging times, we believe we couldn’t give it the best chance of success. There is no doubt the Cadillac CTS is a magnificent vehicle and the response since it was revealed at the Australian International Motor Show in October 2008 has been very positive. “But obviously since then the market for new cars has continued to deteriorate, the challenging broader economic environment remains largely unchanged and the exchange rate has worsened for imports."

Which I've been thinking, probably crazily on my part, is quite a shame. I can't believe I actually wanted Cadillacs to arrive on Aussie shores. Why? The vehicles in the pictures here are really quite nice - for the past 45 years the US has been turning out grotesque vehicles, and yet, suddenly, as if from nowhere, they've found their mojo. The CTS looks cutting-edge, original and athletic, as does its coupe sibling, and Cadillac Australia were even had sketchy plans to import the SRX in 2010. That too, is a brilliant looking X5 and ML-Class rival. For the first time since the fifties, Cadillac have reborn, become modern and individual, and we're going to miss out sampling the fruits of their renaissance. Knowing our luck, by the time Cadillac has settled back into mediocrity, they'll arrive on our doorstep again.

Another reason why I wanted Cadillac to launch in Australia is because I honestly think that the German juggernaut of Merc/BMW/Audi is getting a little too complacent for my liking. When they produce such counterproductive things as iDrive and COMMAND, you know they're starting to lose touch with consumers. Cadillac would be a good influence to shake things up, after all, the Germans have next to no competition - not enough people are brave enough to buy an Alfa Romeo, Saab is almost irrelevant because of its lack of prestige, and Volvo, though slowly gaining some youthfulness, still rests on it's staid safe laurels.

And here's the clincher: because we aren't getting the Cadillac CTS, we also miss out on the brilliant 410kW CTS-V. Now that really is a sad face thought... wait for it... :( there we go.

NEWS: Cadillac Not Coming to Australia, Boo Hoo...

In the middle of nowhere really, the new Mercedes-Benz E-Class has shown up - the BMW 5-Series is about halfway through it's model life, the Audi A6 is a few years fresher, but just about all of it's competitors are now a few years of age, at least. So the new E-Class has to stand out, streak ahead, and leave a significant distance behind it's rivals. Which I'm not sure it will do.

I shouldn't really be surprised. The current E-Class is subtle, yet capable rich-person transport, but bland in comparison to just about everything except the Lexus GS. And even then...

But I really did have my hopes up this time, because the new C-Class has discovered a rather youthful image, and now far surpasses the BMW 3-Series in terms of style. This car borrows similar design language - it has a quite aggressive front bumper, angled door handles, a more sloping waistline, and a nicely sculpted rear bumper with integrated trapezoidal twin exhaust pipes. Unlike the C-Class, which has two different grille designs, depending on which spec you choose, the E-Class has two differently designed steering wheels, depending on which spec you choose. Uh... cool, right?

It also features new safety systems, among which is Attention Assist - my favourite because it assesses the way you're steering the car, and if it thinks that you're steering in a drowsy manner, it will beep at you. Wahoo - now we have a car that tells you that you're sleepy. I think it'll probably just end up telling all the bad rich drivers that they can't drive. The new E-Class then, picks out good drivers from bad (oops, I mean "drowsy") ones, and beeps horribly if you suck. But other things are more concerning.

If I look front-on at the car, for a moment, I think I'm looking at a Maybach. Which, despite the Maybach being worth a bazillion times more than an E-Class, is a very, very, very, very, bad thing. Really. The Maybach has been ridiculed all over the world for being the most distasteful form of billionaire limousine transport available. But I digress.

The rear lights look like they were nicked from a Volkswagen Polo Sedan. I mean, couldn't Mercedes have been slightly more inventive? Perhaps they just wanted to play it safe. And that's the conflict in this car: although it attempts to become more youthful, it knows it has to play ball with all the tame, stately rich types who normally by the E-Class. Fearing consumer backlash, Mercedes have made this car more hip, but not very. They played it safe.

And that's why it's all a bit confused and contrived. So does it have what it takes to put the A6 and 5-Series to shame? I don't really know - the 5-Series is ageing horribly, but the A6 might still pip this for looks I reckon. And then there's the Jaguar XF, which I've forgotten about. The competition are getting tougher, but have Mercedes kept up? Let me know what you think.

Oh, and can I just say: what the heck is up with the chick that's posing with the car in these pictures? Is this the new target market perhaps? Skinny alien women with ridiculous hair and their legs permanently crossed?

NEWS: 2010 Mercedes-Benz E-Class with Split Priorities

It's almost as if Audi responded to me, personally. Just a few days after I posted my news article about the Audi A7, Audi unveils the Sportback Concept - which, without the showcar makeup, will become the new Audi A7. Expect the headlights to be less agressively shaped, with real lights as opposed to lasers for eyes; also expect the bodykit to be slightly less athletic. Also expect the showcar's 21 inch rims to be downsized. And forget about the sunroof being quite like this one.

The A7 will slot directly between the A6 and A8, but with quite a different target market, obviously. Even in terms of length, it is smack bang between the A6 and A8 - 4.95 metres. So yes, the A7 will be as big and muscly as it looks in the pictures. Though it does seem to borrow a bit from the A5 - most obviously in the very square shoulders, giving it quite an aggro attitude.

Audi also used the Sportback Concept to show off some of its latest drivetrain tech - apparently, they've worked out that if they put a certain additive to run with the 3.0 Litre TDI engine, it reacts and reduces the amount of nitrous oxides (bad, bad gases) that the car produces by up to 90%. This is quite significant, seeing as nitrous oxides are among the gases that encourage acid rain and photochemical smog. They've also showed off a new 7-speed tiptronic automatic, which could debut in the A7 when it goes on sale late this year/early next year, and will later trickle through the other Audi models - A8, A6, Q7, etc.

So this then, will be the new A7 - a car with four doors, but wishes it only had two - but we have no word yet on prices or roadgoing technical specification. After all, Audi isn't yet admitting that this is the A7! What do they think we are, stupid?

DETROIT MOTOR SHOW 2009: "Sportback Concept" - Which is German for "Audi A7"

Yes, it seems that the Mercedes-Benz CLS was something other car makers want to copy - thus we have these pictures of what the upcoming Audi A7 will look like. The CLS created a new segment - a car that had the shape of a coupe, but had four doors and could seat four people in comfort. But the CLS was either absolutely fantastic, or disproportionate and flawed, depending on your eyesight. The A7 seems to follow the same formula - rear doors that seem to be made for small children, and a roofline that rakes low enough to bump your head rather nicely as you try to enter the car. While the A7 doesn't have the CLS' awkward headlights, and doesn't have a rear end that looks like an AU Falcon, it doesn't have the smooth elegance of a CLS, and it still looks very big, bullish, and brutal. Rather, Audi-ish. News is that it will probably only be offered with Quattro all-wheel-drive, and curiously, the entry-level engine is most likely going to be the 4.2 litre V8. Which is interesting. Very interesting...

NEWS: Audi A7 to challenge the CLS

I've done a lot of ranting lately, but after this, I promise I'll stop for a little while. Someone asked me recently (in real life, you idiot, not on the blog - I have a life!) what I thought of Australian-built vehicles. For those of us who aren't entirely aware what's built in Australia these days, this is it:

Really, when it boils down to it, we have essentially three cars - Commodore, Falcon, and Camry. Don't whine that the Aurion isn't a Camry, because it darn well is - they look exactly the same side-on, and have identical interior design. The Mitsubishi 380 was made in Australia, but nobody bought them (because they were ugly, and looked like the American car it was based upon) and it ceased production last year. So that's the story of Australian made. They're all big, large cars, and on the whole - they have V6 engines.

So back to what I think of Australian-Built vehicles. I expressed in no uncertain terms my disgust for them, and was presented with the reply: "Gee, you're great for Aussie jobs, aren't you? Love our economy!" It was like my opinion was a reflection of the Aussie workers, our Aussie talent - I was "unastrayun", apparently. But I have good reasons why I hate Aussie-built cars, and it really comes down to the corporate decision-making that ruins their appeal.

Number One: Australian cars are hurting the environment. Of course they are! They're huge cars with V6 engines! And it's not some production-line worker's fault, it's the Holden bosses' fault. The average Australian sedan has about 200kW of power, with an average economy of 11L per 100km. A V8 has in excess of 270kW, and will use about 14L/100km.

I believe that 200kW is far more power in a family car than anyone really needs, and in just about every market in the world other than the US, 200kW is a figure you'd see on a high performance car - a sports car that sells in minorities. But the Australian large car is sold in majority, so the damage is amplified. You might say that these cars are so heavy that they need 200kW to push them along, but the only reason they are even this heavy is because of the great stinking engine sitting up the front. And they're still fast. A Toyota Aurion goes from 0-100kmh in just 7.4 seconds, which is around the same acceleration as a Golf GTi, Lancer Ralliart, the supercharged Range Rover Sport, A Jaguar XJ8, and the V8 HEMI Chrysler 300C. All big names in the sports/luxury car world, but all sold in small volume. No one really needs their family sedan, which is not meant to go any faster than 100kmh, to break the law in 7.4 seconds.

What is considered a family car in, say, the UK for example? The Ford Mondeo. It has a four cylinder engine which is significantly more economical that an Aussie six, although not as fast - but surely fast enough for law-abiding average joes?

But it's the sense that Australian car makers feel that they don't need to invest money in fuel economy - that's what irks me. Have you ever seen an economical Diesel Falcon? Or a petrol-electric hybrid Commodore? Even Toyota, the clean green Prius king, can't rock up with a hybrid Camry yet. What do they give us? A Supercharged Aurion. In America, there are hybrid variants of just about every family-sized sedan or SUV - we keep guzzling the petrol, but we tell them they're environmental hooligans. Hypocrits? And then some.

I know that all this technology is being added to Australian cars, but we're always years behind the rest of the world - it makes me think that Australian cars really aren't cutting edge, and that we truly are "underdeveloped colonialists", as the English would put it. And we're ruining the planet - with all our unique native wildlife being ruined by climate change, you'd think we'd try to drive cars that cut down emissions, wouldn't you? But people buy Australian-made, because they feel obliged to, and while some fat worker keeps his job in Broadmeadows, the Great Barrier Reef dies.

Number Two: Australian Cars are still awful quality. This may be a product of our culture and our work ethic, but these days, cars are mostly built by robots, and there really is no excuse for cars with ill-fitting dashboards, huge gaps between interior materials, etc. - you still think we make good quality cars? Alright, think about this. Which do you think is more expensive - the materials used to make the interior of the new Commodore, or the materials used to make the interior of the new Peugeot 308? Look at the pictures below if you're not sure.

I told you. I even used a picture of the top of the line Commodore SS-V! It costs a heap more than any 308 could - why?!?! Because it is a big heavy boofy sedan with a V8 that drinks more than Amy Winehouse, that's why.

and Number Three: Australian Built vehicles are robbing us of safety features we deserve. This is inexcusable. You've all seen the latest ads for the Falcon, saying it was the first Australian car to achieve 5-stars, and the Commodore has followed suit, but I'm still wondering: what took us so long? The technology is there, and the rest of the world have been driving cars with 5-star safety for donkey's yonks. The Renault Laguna - one of the staples of Europe's family-car market - has been a 5-star car since 1999! It might be more expensive here, and now, but at the time it certainly wasn't, and it was one of the first of an army of European cars, big and small, (but the big ones first) achieving five star safety ratings. For crying out loud, Kia have built a 5-star car before Australia. And we bag them about how unsafe everything they make is! What we don't realise, behind our "made in Australia" pride, is that we are worse.

Another point I nearly made is that I believe that Australian cars are encouraging "bogan" culture - this really isn't fair, because this is no inherent fault in the car itself, just the people who drive it. I still appreciate that the Porsche 911 is a good car, even though they are always driven by dickwits. So I'll refrain from making that point, and stick to those three above. They are enough to make me turn my nose up at Australian cars anyway. Maybe they weren't, fifty years ago, but the car industry should move with the times, and it hasn't.

So I don't think people should feel an obligation to buy Australian-made, just because they are Australian. It doesn't make you "Unaustralian" if you don't, anyway. You have the choice to buy a better car, so you should - if enough people do the same thing, then the Australian car companies will realise they have to do better.

And slowly, this is what is happening. Australian car sales are slowing, whether it is because of environmental conscience or petrol prices (sadly, probably the latter), and companies who are building cars in Australia have had to beg the government for grants so that their operations remain profitable. But given the chance, I'm sure Holden and Ford would just keep on making large cars with big V8s - I think our mate Mr. Rudd (the K-Dog) thought so too. He's making Holden build a hybrid here in Australia (based on an American car, mind you), he's making Toyota build a hybrid Camry, and he's making Ford build their Focus here in Australia, with diesel variants. That's a start, but the whole culture has got to change - Australians have to see that there are huge problems with the cars we're currently turning out, and we have to change our attitude toward these problems. "She'll be right, mate" isn't going to cut it with me, anyway.

So I'll hate Australian cars, and be a traitor to my homeland until these issues are resolved.

RANT: Australian Cars

I like the Mitsubishi Lancer - it's a car that is pretty much at the top of it's game, up with the class competitors, and selling well. It's exactly the thing Mitsubishi Australia needed to increase profitability in our market. Then they introduced the Sportback.

In one rather memorable story, I remarked that you're usually pretty safe with any small car that has the word "Sport" added to it. I was pretty much right, but only because in that case, the "sport" referred to a level of specification (tuned suspension, bodykit, etc.), and not the rear end of a car. It's becoming a growing trend. Audi named the four-door version of their A3 the "Sportback", then Holden decided that the new Commodore wagon should be called "Sportwagon" (what the frick is sporty about a 5-metre long Commodore Omega wagon has got me beat), and now we have the Lancer Sportback. The reason why I'm really annoyed by the Lancer is because, unlike the Audi and the Commodore, it looks absolutely hideous.

I couldn't find a picture on the internet that hadn't been cleverly angled to hide the wierd shape of that rear hatchback - it looks pretty unloved, doesn't it? Nevertheless, I will assume that it broadens the Lancer's appeal further, and can probably carry heaps of stuff. Why I'm really mentioning it is because usually, the transfer from hatch to booted sedan comes up with some hideous cars. Think about when they made the Toyota Echo sedan! That was a shocker. Thankfully, car makers have realised that we tend not to buy ugly spin-offs of good cars, so we don't get some of these hatch-to-sedan blunders. Elsewhere however, they have. Often, these are travesties that are best represented in profile - the Citroen C4 sedan. Nowhere near funky enough to be a dancing robot (tell Tsoukinator). Another example I'd like to show you is the Mazda2 Sedan - horrible!

I want to have a dig at it not because I think it is ugly (even though I do think so) - Imprezas, and Subaru's in general, are meant to be ugly. It's reassuring. It tells you: "Don't worry. I haven't changed. I'm still ugly - I'm still good quality Subaru inside." Instead, I hate it because in profile, or side-view, it has basically copied the proportions of the current (and outgoing) Mazda3. Tut, tut, tut.

Alright, now it's the sedan's turn. The front half of the car is actually bearable, but only once you've seen the rear end. Subaru have done even more copycating here - although this time, they've copycatted something really bad to start with.

What would you think if I told you that you're new "fooli sik" WRX looked like a Suzuki SX4? Well, I'd be right, and you'd be fuming - "how dare you compare my fooli sik WRX with that heap of sh**!" you will say. But I will walk away and laugh, because the arse of your $50,000 sports car, with rally credentials, street savvy, and a youthful image - looks identical to the arse of your grandma's little runaround.

RANT: I Don't Like That Arse, I Don't...

Well, Mazda has decided that the aging (but still great looking) Mazda3 needs a new model. So they leaked out some teaser images. As usual, these teaser images are taken from not-so-revealing angles, so that you don't really get much of an idea of how the car will look in real life.

Unfortunately, this looks like one contrived car, particularly at the rear, which poses the question - why did Mazda decide that two of these three pictures should showcase the back? It's hard to tell what the front looks like at all. The rear tail-lights mimic the new Mazda6, but seem far too big, and wrap around the sides too far, and the car itself generally looks big-bottomed because of the squared off boot, and large bumper - surely you don't need a bumper that sticks out that much? It may be for safety, but it weighs the rear down even more than that squared off boot does - what's it for then, sitting on? The side windows sort of just, finish - without a bit of smoothness, which is odd, considering the rest of the car has been redesigned to look smoother than the previous model.

But enough whinging. The new Mazda3 sedan will be unveiled at the Los Angeles Motor Show on November 19, and will be billed as the "next generation of Zoom-Zoom spirit". Yeah, whatever. No word on when the hatch will be unveiled, though - and I was always a far bigger fan of the hatch too, damn! No really, I was, I'm keep telling my sister to buy one for her first car, I like it that much.

A long search for the hatch yielded only this unverified picture (left), which considering we now know what the sedan looks like, could be almost right: Yes, I know the front doesn't look the same, but I think the general shape is right here. It hopefully won't look quite as conservative as this, but it's an agreeable design nonetheless.

I noticed something though: check out this Peugeot 308 on the right, and then the face of the Mazda3 Sedan at the very top. Now do you understand where you thought you'd seen this face before? It's nearly identical. That's the way the motor industry works, and has for donkey's yonks - everyone copies each other. What a shame Mazda didn't copy something cooler, like it's Furai concept - google it, it's fully sick. Especially with the lights all on!

NEWS: Mazda 3 2010 Teaser Photos