GENEVA 2009: Aston Martin Lagonda
I struggled to come to terms with the Aston Martin Lagonda Concept. It looks like a truck. I didn't see how it is possible for Aston Martin, a company known for the graceful form of its cars, to conceive such a horrendous looking car for the revival of an iconic brand name. I obviously didn't understand what the brand "Lagonda" actually meant.
Aston Martin has owned Lagonda for over 60 years, and in that time, Lagonda cars have sort of dissipated, in the same way that Aston Martin had dissipated up until the recent arrivals of the DB7 and DB9. So occasionally, every now and then, Aston Martin produced a Lagonda, and then didn't, sometimes for decades at a time. Now is the time, then, during a period of Aston Martin's resurgence, that they have decided to revive Lagonda. Shame they're doing it at a time when everyone's broke.
But back to the point about why it is necessary for the new Lagonda to look like a truck. Aston Martin and Lagonda stand for two very different things. Aston Martins are athletic - the ultimate sports tourer. Lagonda is, put simply, the ultimate statement of what a car can be. Superlative, you could say. However, Lagondas simply don't have a sporty bone in their body. As Aston Martin CEO Ulrich Bez puts it:
"Lagonda is a car that can be used in Moscow in December with half a metre of snow, and used in countries with less well-developed infrastructure, and is a luxury product."
This car, which you see in the gallery at the bottom of this article, is like a new Range Rover, which isn't meant to have the same shoddy quality as Land Rover. And way more luxurious. In other words, this truck of a Lagonda is for people who want a massive 4x4, but think a Range Rover is a bit cheap and proletarian.
As you might have guessed, these cars are exactly like Rolls-Royces, but without the grace of design, and a "stuff youse all" attitude instead. These were the biggest, baddest cars of their respective eras. But at that time, there were no 4x4s - now, the biggest baddest cars on the road are big 4x4s (cough, BMW X6, cough). So if Aston Martin were going to create a modern Lagonda that embodied the spirit of the cars you've seen above, it would be a massive, fugly 4x4. So, if you look at it that way, it's mission accomplished for Aston Martin and their new Lagonda concept. It's bloody ugly, but it's just right.
GENEVA 2009: BMW Says "It's On, Biatch!" With 5-Series Gran Turismo
The latest battlefront that the German juggernaut of Audi, BMW and Mercedes-Benz will fight for are cars like this 5-Series Gran Turismo Concept. They're based on sedans, but mostly, they are, but they think they're coupes. They're a bit confused, mostly, but they're essentially jazzy versions of otherwise conservative sedans, aimed at a more youthful market which looks toward a more sporting character. It's all about making a brand name more versatile by offering different cars that on the surface, appear to compete, but are really aimed at very different buyers. This is how the battle will play out:
Mercedes-Benz E-Class --> Mercedes-Benz CLS-Class (since 2005)
Audi A6 --> Audi A7 (due 2010, but in meantime, see Audi Sportback Concept article)
BMW 5-Series --> BMW 5-Series GT (due November 2009, based on BMW CS Concept of 2007)
Yes, from all accounts, it does seem that BMW will be calling this car the BMW 5-Series GT. BMW has revealed that this car is not just a sedan that thinks it's a coupe, but much much more. In fact, as I see it, it's a long hatchback that's almost a sedan, but with a wagon-like stance, and an element of "squashed X6" thrown in. So yes, it does have a huge rear hatchback (double hinged, thank you, sir!), it is not a sedan, and even though it doesn't look that large in these pictures (at least, not compared to the Audi Sportback) it will, in fact be exactly 5 metres long, making it almost as long as the short-wheelbase 7-Series.
With the November launch so imminent for the 5-Series GT, this "concept" is really more of a preview of the real thing. Not much will change, I would imagine - the 21 inch alloy wheels are, of course, pure fantasy, though beautiful, the wing mirrors are likely to be replaced with something less controversial, and perhaps those cool side indicators will be relocated to the mirrors. But that's it, really.
So what do I think? Well, I'm not a big fan of the X6 roofline which has been translated to this car, because it makes the car too tall, and not sleek enough - the rear is an absolute mess, and makes the infamous Bangle-butt 7-Series look graceful. Though having said that, the surfacing of the car (namely, the hard crease spanning the length of the car) is pure genius, I've fallen in love with the door handles (I know that's sad...!) and I really really like the nose of this car. It's tasteful, original and athletic - a new BMW trait that was recently seen on the next-gen Z4. But what is also rather interesting is the rumour going around that this face is exactly the same as the next-gen 5-Series sedan, and that all that differs between the GT and the sedan is the roofline and rear hatchback.
Which, of course I think bodes well for the new 5-Series, but might make the GT the less attractive relative. Which, I think, means that BMW have missed the point with this car.
PARIS MOTOR SHOW 2008: Ssangyong learns what Sstyle means
This, unbelievably, is a Ssangyong.
It is called the C200, and although it's just a concept, and quite unlikely to make it into production looking as remotely awesome as it does... it gobsmacks me. Not because it's quite that good-looking, but don't get me wrong, it looks great. What I'm trying to say is... how did Ssangyong do it?
Think of any other Ssangyong cars you can name. If you don't know what a Ssangyong is, google them, or look at the cars I will talk about below. You won't forget what a Ssangyong is when you've seen one. Ssangyong invented ugly. Okay, they may not have invented it, but they have perfected ugliness. And unlike the Picnic chocolate bar, Ssangyongs aren't delicious to drive.
Take the Actyon for example - it's name may sound like one of the moons of Uranus (I think it's really just "Action", with the 'i' replaced with a 'y' - as you do), but it manages to take the horrible body shape of the BMW X6, and make it soooo much worse. Of the two pictures below, the BMW is first, and then - brace yourself - is the Actyon.
Okay, the BMW is pretty awful (well, some like it, some don't), but the Actyon simply looks wrong, like a joke. "Hey, don't you think it'd be funny if you saw cars that looked like this running around?" said one designer to the other. "Ssangyong like ugly stuff, let's show it to them first." And there is the history of the Actyon.
The Ssangyong website claims that "Actyon's distinctive crossover look incorporates the sleek lines of a coupe into a small SUV". Well, I also learned from the website that the name Actyon was actually coined, despite my speculation, from "Active" and "Youth" (supposedly it's target market) and as soon as you think about how active the youth of today are, bam, Ssangyong's credibility is in tatters. Don't believe a word they say. It is ugly.
Then there's the grandaddy of ugliness. The Stavic (or Rodius in some markets) has the most ill-conceived face in the motor industry, in my humble opinion. The grille reminds everyone I know of a burnt thong.
And when you combine that with an "unmistakably" proportioned profile (below), you get a car that has a "sophisticated look". Ssangyong's words, not mine. I told you not to believe a word they say.
Which brings me to the C200. It looks brilliant, and even if you take away all the futuristic LED lights, the looks still have substance. It will, apparently, be the renaissance of Ssangyong, and is indicative of their long-term plan - to add "stylishness and progressiveness" into their model line-up. I can't wait - if they start making cars like the C200, I've got a feeling I'm really going to start liking Ssangyong.
But sadly, if a past record is anything to go by, then it is all lies. Ssangyong's new models couldn't possibly have "stylishness and progressiveness" - not if they say so, anyway. But I want them to prove me wrong so badly. Please prove me wrong, Ssangyong, and I'll never Ssay anything horrible about you again.
