I've given quite a few updates on the new Mazda3, which is due for release in April - and rightly so, because in my opinion, it will be the most important new model of 2009. But now we finally have pictures of the best Mazda3 of them all - the turbocharged Mazda3 MPS. And something random called the Mazda3 i-stop. But M, P and S are three letters we like very much.Although Mazda has revealed that it will not be making a turbocharged MPS variant of the current Mazda6, it has gone ahead with the Mazda3, citing the recent successes of such cars as the Volkswagen Golf GTi as a reason why the MPS is a good business strategy. But seemingly, Mazda have set their sights far higher than the Golf GTi - Mazda are very obviously pitting this MPS as an Subaru Impreza WRX killer.

And when you look at it in comparison to the dowdy new WRX hatch, it certainly does. If I were to describe how well the WRX is killed, I would describe a process involving meat cleavers, dismemberment and eating wobbly bits for breakfast. We only have three pictures of the MPS before it's shown at the Geneva Motor Show in March, but what I see I like very much. A wicked rear spoiler, aggressive yet complementary bodykit, and a huge bonnet scoop (though probably fake) are some of the many highlights. It even features a cool little "MPS" badge on the front grille. Speaking of the front grille, it has been well documented in this blog that I'm not a big fan of the new "big mouth" grille, although here in the MPS, it somehow manages to look just right. The proportions indicate a wide stance and a decidedly unholy attitude.And that really is what the Mazda3 MPS is about - attitude. It's something that the new WRX lacks. In terms of performance, the MPS has everything covered, despite carrying over the 2.3 litre turbocharged MZR engine from the previous model (albeit with a few tweaks). Still, there's a lot to be said for the previous model's figure of 190kW, and you can also expect a 0-100kmh time of about 6 seconds flat. I say this because the new MPS would be bucking the trend of current Mazdas if it was heavier than the previous model, which I doubt.
But because "being seen to be green" is the order of the day at the moment, Mazda have announced news of a new fuel saving technique, called i-stop. Why "i-stop"? I dunno, maybe because it stops the use of the letter "i"... look, it's an odd name, and I don't get it either, but what you need to know is that it is a new engine technology that will eventually be used on all the proletarian 2.0 Litre Mazda3s, and will increase efficiency and economy by 12 percent, which on a Mazda3, will be about one Litre every 100km. If I put it that way, it doesn't sound like much, but with i-stop, the Mazda3 will become pretty much the most economical car in its class, which is far more impressive.
And of course, Mazda are boasting about the fact both the 2.0 Litre i-stop engines and the turbocharged MPS meet tough Euro V emissions standards, which mean that they don't release more than 0.5g of Carbon Monoxide and 0.08g of Nitrous Oxides (stuff that makes acid rain) into the air per kilometre. These Euro V emissions will be in force by September this year, so it's nice that Mazda have been proactive about it.It remains to be seen when i-stop will make its way onto cars here in Australia, but nevertheless, it's more evidence that the car industry is trying to turn itself as green as possible... and make a cunning marketing strategy out of it at the same time.

NEWS: 2010 Mazda3 MPS and i-stop

A few years ago, I'd heard that Volkswagen wanted to do a small lightweight convertible sports car, and so the rumours started - Volkswagen showed us the Concept R in 2003, and everybody thought this was the car we were thinking of. But we were all wrong - Volkswagen instead plumped for the idea of a softer convertible, something aimed at stylish people, not driving enthusiasts. So we saw the Volkswagen Concept C the next year, and then the resulting Eos was launched. "That's the end of that", I thought, quite sad that a lightweight convertible (like the legendary Mazda MX-5) was not going to be built. Or so I thought.

Volkswagen have now released the BlueSport Concept, which is basically a direct MX-5 competitor, aside from the "fuel-efficient" focus. Although having said that, the MX-5 drinks only 8.5 Litres per 100km, which is great, considering the enjoyment you get from driving it. The BlueMotion however, is a diesel. That's right - a lightweight (diesels are usually heavy engines) diesel sports car. And it could well go into production - the Volkswagen hierarchy are getting really excited, and so am I. Over a Volkswagen, oddly enough.

The diesel engine is a heavily reworked version of the 2.0 Litre diesel from the Golf, but this time it produces 132 kW of power, reaches a top speed of 226kmh, and somehow only drinks 4.3 Litres per 100km. But here's the clincher: It'll do the 0-100kmh sprint in just 6.6 seconds. Take that, MX-5! You see, that's not MX-5 territory, that's RX-8 territory!

This is all possible because this car is lightweight - it has a fabric roof, instead of a heavy folding metal one for example. And it doesn't even have to put up with the weight of four seats - this one's strictly a two seater. So it really is a rival for the MX-5. But I wonder if in a production version, what with safety regulations and such, if Volkswagen can maintain this low weight. I doubt it, but I have no doubt that they'll make a worthy MX-5 rival. Because even though it's a fantastic car, it's about time it had some competition.

And what competition - it even looks rather nice, or should I say, will look rather nice, as long as Volkswagen ditch the ridiculous front bumper smile that reminds me of the new Renault Megane. So, what I mean to say is, I really hope that I'm not wrong this time. Not this time!

DETROIT MOTOR SHOW 2009: Volkswagen BlueSport Concept has MX-5 Chewing Fingernails

In the middle of nowhere really, the new Mercedes-Benz E-Class has shown up - the BMW 5-Series is about halfway through it's model life, the Audi A6 is a few years fresher, but just about all of it's competitors are now a few years of age, at least. So the new E-Class has to stand out, streak ahead, and leave a significant distance behind it's rivals. Which I'm not sure it will do.

I shouldn't really be surprised. The current E-Class is subtle, yet capable rich-person transport, but bland in comparison to just about everything except the Lexus GS. And even then...

But I really did have my hopes up this time, because the new C-Class has discovered a rather youthful image, and now far surpasses the BMW 3-Series in terms of style. This car borrows similar design language - it has a quite aggressive front bumper, angled door handles, a more sloping waistline, and a nicely sculpted rear bumper with integrated trapezoidal twin exhaust pipes. Unlike the C-Class, which has two different grille designs, depending on which spec you choose, the E-Class has two differently designed steering wheels, depending on which spec you choose. Uh... cool, right?

It also features new safety systems, among which is Attention Assist - my favourite because it assesses the way you're steering the car, and if it thinks that you're steering in a drowsy manner, it will beep at you. Wahoo - now we have a car that tells you that you're sleepy. I think it'll probably just end up telling all the bad rich drivers that they can't drive. The new E-Class then, picks out good drivers from bad (oops, I mean "drowsy") ones, and beeps horribly if you suck. But other things are more concerning.

If I look front-on at the car, for a moment, I think I'm looking at a Maybach. Which, despite the Maybach being worth a bazillion times more than an E-Class, is a very, very, very, very, bad thing. Really. The Maybach has been ridiculed all over the world for being the most distasteful form of billionaire limousine transport available. But I digress.

The rear lights look like they were nicked from a Volkswagen Polo Sedan. I mean, couldn't Mercedes have been slightly more inventive? Perhaps they just wanted to play it safe. And that's the conflict in this car: although it attempts to become more youthful, it knows it has to play ball with all the tame, stately rich types who normally by the E-Class. Fearing consumer backlash, Mercedes have made this car more hip, but not very. They played it safe.

And that's why it's all a bit confused and contrived. So does it have what it takes to put the A6 and 5-Series to shame? I don't really know - the 5-Series is ageing horribly, but the A6 might still pip this for looks I reckon. And then there's the Jaguar XF, which I've forgotten about. The competition are getting tougher, but have Mercedes kept up? Let me know what you think.

Oh, and can I just say: what the heck is up with the chick that's posing with the car in these pictures? Is this the new target market perhaps? Skinny alien women with ridiculous hair and their legs permanently crossed?

NEWS: 2010 Mercedes-Benz E-Class with Split Priorities

Retro is, apparently "tres cool, daahling" - just the thing to look trendy this fashion season. You'd be surprised how much retro stuff fill our lives, from those bright red bubble shaped retro toasters to, you guessed it, cars. There is a very obvious attraction to a retro-styled car, after all, I've just said it - style. Retro cars range from $23,000 AUD city runabouts to elite sports cars with six figure price tags. Yet a common critisism of retro cars are that they are all style, and no substance to live with every day. Everyone figures that retro cars are expensive, pathetic value for money... and besides, you'll probably tire of the way it looks by tomorrow, won't you? But is the news really that bad for retro cars, or are they really just for the type of people who buy a specific outfit for their MySpace photo? Check out my reviews, with special guest opinions from the Fashion Police and Mr. Sensible, so we have a balanced investigation.

This is a real oddball of a car. Is it meant to be a practical family hatch? I don't think so - it isn't wide enough to fit three people comfortably in the back. Is it just meant to be stylish? It is too lardy and awkward to be considered "chic" by fashion gurus. It's not even good value (you can get a Mondeo or Mazda6 for this kind of moolah), so why buy this car? The appeal would have to be in the 30's hot rod styling, surely? Well, it's not my cup of tea, but it could suit someone out there. But the whole point of a retro car is that it makes you feel special - different, extrovert, and better than the average joe driving a silver Toyota Camry. This interior would not make me feel special - the average 90's American car interior, full of dull grey plastic that would probably fall apart if you so much as touched it.

Fashion Police? - "I would fine you for giving retro a bad name."
Mr. Sensible? - "There are better ways to spend 35K, that's for sure."


The sheer amount of detail that has gone into this car is truly astonishing. Whether it comes down to the glossy dash materials, circular headrests that mimic the front headlights, or the bazillions of interior colour combinations, a Fiat 500 is well and truly customised enough to make you feel special. There are 19 different sticker kits, the key cover comes in 9 different colours, there are 15 different types of seat upholstery, 9 different steering wheel covers, and, wait for it, 3 types of fragrance diffusers. Wow. And looking through the brochure at all the different exterior colours available, you feel like you are looking at a packet of skittles - there are no less than 12 colours. You sure aren't likely to be wearing the same clothes as someone else (I mean, driving the same car as someone else), because there are a grand total of 549,936 variants of the Fiat 500. Oh, snap.

Fiat has also thought about environmentally conscious fashonistas (the kind that throw paint on fur coats) because the 1.3 litre diesel 500 is the most economical car in Australia. Take that, Toyota Prius! It is also the first car under 3.6 metres in length to achieve a 5-Star NCAP safety rating. It is undoubtedly irresistable - but all this does come at a price. It starts at $23,000 for a 1.2 litre, 3.55 metre long two door car. Optioning it up only elevates the price further. You could easily spend up to 40 grand if you're not careful. I'm serious! But let's put it into perspective - if you're at all fashion conscious enough to think about 549,936 different variants of one car, then only the most stylish car will do. In that respect, there is no price for style. But even the Smart ForTwo is priced comparitively to the 500, yet I would say there is far more substance on offer with the Fiat. And what about the Mini? It's probably the only car that in comparison to the Fiat 500 looks overpriced.

Fashion Police? - "Fiat 500 for Prime Minister!"
Mr. Sensible? - "The numbers don't add up. What about the family? Where will they fit?"


I suppose I could have also talked about the XJ, but the X-Type is more obviously trying to chip into the retro market. Except it just looks old - and now that Jaguar wants to be modern again, they're trying to make it retro, but edgy and high-tech... it's just a confused car. You wouldn't even buy it for "Jaguar Quality" either - have you heard the nightmare stories that turn up time and time again from X-Type owners? It's meant to capture the gracefulness of Jaguars of old, with lots of woodgrain, and animal skins adorning the seats etc., but the gracefulness of a Jaguar just doesn't translate to a car that is only just longer than a Honda Civic. It was a dumb idea.

Fashion Police? - "Soooooo last century."
Mr. Sensible? - "It's not going to be reliable - it's a lemon."


Ah, what fun this car looks. And it is, thankfully. Fun I mean. The driving dynamics of such a pint-sized car are always going to be memorable, but the Mini just gets better, the more power you can shove into the bonnet. In that way, it is more of the enthusiasts choice than the 500, even though the Mini is marketed at people who can't drive very well. The interior, unlike the 500, is a little tacky - mostly black with lots of fake metal. It just looks plasticky and low rent. But it must be bought with stripes. There is simply no question about that - it looks bare and empty without them. But I digress. The Cooper hatchback is quite cool, in a boyish, go-kart sort of way, but other Mini variants are anything but.

Let me start with the convertible - it's odd, and loses the sporty stance of the hatch. So where is the appeal now? In the fact that you can soak up the sun in a car little bigger than any Matchbox (TM...) equivalent. Great. But the Clubman.... what a travesty. It might be okay in a country that drives on the right hand side of the road, but in Australia, it's useless. The extra door is on the WRONG side! Because, you know, we all load up the car from the side of the car that faces the road. And what, may I ask, is the point of having a barn-doors tailgate on a Mini? Stupid, just stupid. A real Mini is nice. The pretenders (Clubman, Cabrio) are worse than head lice. And you don't even want to know how expensive they are.

Fashion Police? - "Hatch, right this way. Clubman, Cabrio - you ain't going anywhere."
Mr. Sensible? - "This thing costs how much?!?!?!"


This is probably the easiest way to look like an eccentric nutter. Let's face it, why on earth would you buy a new car that is exactly like something from eighty years ago unless you were mentally deranged? The Aero 8 (pictured) is cross-eyed, and the 4/4 is made of wood. I thought this was meant to be the 21st century? I suppose it would be one helluva mid-life crisis car, but you certainly need some serious personality to pull these cars off. And if you thought a Mini was impractical, it starts to look like a Toyota Tarago in comparison to a Morgan. And if all that wasn't enough, it costs in excess of a hundred grand. What a waste of money - if you are genuinely interested in art deco era cars, actually buy something from that era, not some fake modern try-hard with no motoring history behind it.

Fashion Police? - ".....?.....!"
Mr. Sensible? - "Are you serious? A roof is an optional extra?!?!"


Probably the only car in the world that still looks exactly the same after five generations and 44 years. Check out the whopping differences between the original sixties model and the current one (both pictured). But that's not to say that the current Porsche 911 is outdated - it is still the top of its field for driving dynamics, and is the benchmark from which everything else is judged. But all that doesn't stop the 911 from being well and truly behind in the style stakes. After all, it competes with the Maserati GT (the car in my blog's header) and the Aston Martin Vantage. And there is one overwhelming factor that turns me off buying one - just about every 911 owner is an absolute tosser. I'm not joking - if you know a 911 driver, chances are, you also think they're a bit of a dick with more money than brains. Still don't believe me? I'll prove it - Charlie Cox of Top Gear Australia absolutely loves them. Told you.

Fashion Police? - "Retro for retro-sake is not cool."
Mr. Sensible? - "What about all the CO2 emissions? And the petrol money?"


Something is seriously wrong when you have a car that has a flower vase built into the dash. Probably only the Nissan Micra Convertible is more embarassing (but that's all subjective I guess). Let's face it, no real man would go out with a girl who drives a Beetle. So in this way, a New Beetle is embarassing to the owner, it is embarassing to the owner's friends, and casts aspersions on the intelligence of the owner's family. Remember: the person is only as intelligent as the car they buy. This... is an expensive joke - so unless you consider yourself an expensive joke, this isn't the car for you. And if you like your fashion new and fresh, this doesn't present a good case - it's been around since 1998. So why do they still call it the New Beetle? Beats me.

Tell you what, get a restored original Beetle - they're even cooler, and if you want a Beetle, you obviously won't care about the practicality issues.

Fashion Police? - "That's a $200 dollar fine for 'overdoing it'".
Mr. Sensible? - "I'll have to count the flower as an added expense..."


So what are the findings? First of all, Mr. Sensible is very obviously a big whinging party-pooper, and should shove his sensibility where the sun don't shine. Silliness is what makes life truly worth living, and silliness seems to go hand in hand with retro. As much as I hate cars like the New Beetle, I appreciate that the person who buys has a strong infatuation for its iconic retro design, and it certainly is a wonderful if someone can be as silly as to use a Beetle as their mode of transport, and love it. Buy a car and love it - a car should also give you a secret s ense of pleasure and circumstance. As I alluded to earlier, a car should make you feel special. With the exceptions of the Jaguar and the Chrysler, all these cars will flatter you endlessly, providing they suit your tastes. Choose wisely - make sure that what you share with your car-to-be is love, and not a petty crush, because you could quite easily "tire" of these cars. It is also a very expensive excercise, which ever way you look at it.

But feeling truly special is close to priceless.

FEATURE STORY: How to do "Retro" tastefully

It's sad - a tragedy. The Renault Megane will lose the junk in its trunk. This 2009 model Megane is part of Renault's (bland) new line-up, and even though there has been an overload of small car stories lately, this one is quite important, because it signifies a manufacturer turning up its nose at adventurous design.

The Megane II was a revelation when it first came out - a talking point at dinner parties, even. I mean, who could resist a car with a big sexy butt like that? Ironically, this "bootylicious" car couldn't really fit much in its boot (its boot volume was almost a half that of some of its competitors), but that's not the point. The Megane was a roaring success in Europe (nowhere else, unfortunately), and it gave other French manufacturers the confidence to release far more individually styled cars than they ever did in the 90s. Citroen had the C4 and C6, Peugeot had its gaping-mouthed 407, and more recently, the 207 and 308.

But the new face of Renault is going to destroy all the hard work the cars like the Megane II did to make Renaults look innovative and advanced. It looks boring. As boring as the Golf. And if you don't agree with that, then it must look disturbing to you, then. It does look quite disturbing at the front - it has the smile of an axe-murderer with no teeth.

Thank heavens there will be a Renault Megane Sport, sometime in the near future. And I have a concept from earlier this year that is meant to hint at what the Megane Sport could look like. I don't honestly expect it to have bizarre double-gullwing doors and virtual side mirrors, but if it at least keeps that fantastic rear end design, then maybe I won't lament the liposuction Renault performed on the regular Megane. It's just a shame, that's all.

NEWS: 2009 Megane - "bootylicious" no more

The new Volkswagen Golf is coming very soon - sooner than we all expected. Because Mark V was expensive to build, Volkswagen rushed in its new Golf so that it could make more money on it. Only five years after they built the last one. That's an even shorter time between models than most Japanese cars (traditionally, European cars take about 8 years per model cycle).

Well, the big news is that your bog-standard Golf now gets the face of a Scirocco (in the words of Borat: "Nice"), and an even better quality interior. One of the critisisms of the last Golf was that interior quality wasn't up to the same standards as Mark IV, but Volkswagen say that this new Golf will "completely redefine the quality and comfort level of its class". But I'm always more sceptical.

The whole point of releasing the new Golf so early is that it is cheaper to make. Does that mean cheaper interior materials? We'll have to wait and see. The pictures make it look rather nice, however, if rather generic.

Of more interest is the new GTI, which will now have 157 Kilowatts (210 HP) of power, an increase of 10kW - which of course is great, because everyone loves more power. It puffs out less carbon dioxide too, which pleases the greenie in all of us. The R32 will be replaced with the GTI-R, which does not retain the former's engine (due to emissions regulations), and instead gets the engine from the Audi S3 - a 191kW (256 HP) donk.

NEWS: Volkswagen Golf Mark VI