Alright, as the title suggests, I don't like the Porsche Panamera. But I don't think it is because I have a general dislike for Porsches (they're just backward in terms of style!) - I genuinely believe the Panamera is stupid. Perhaps not as stupid as the Cayenne, but seriously stupid nonetheless.

I don't need to tell you it looks ugly. You can see that 911 styling just doesn't translate to a car with four doors and is over 5-metres in length. You're eyes aren't decieving you, it really is that long. It's bulky and looks heavy (even though it probably isn't, knowing Porsche). So, I'm wondering. It doesn't really seem to be much of a sports saloon (you can't tell me that something 5.2 metres long with a huge wheelbase is going to quick and agile), and it can't be a luxury car, because Porsche don't make luxury cars. Who is this car for?

At least the Lamborghini Estoque (which recently seems to be becoming more likely to go into production by the minute) looks properly sporty, if a bit confused. The Panamera looks like a big fat lumbering blob. Harsh maybe, but you have to think about the competition. Already established in this segment is the Maserati Quattroporte - stunningly stylish, ridiculously luxurious, fairly fast, incredibly customisable. The Bentley Continental Flying Spur - more leather and woodgrain than you can poke a stick at, fast (in a straight line), very comfortable. Do I think the Panamera has what it takes to sell well against these rivals? No, because it lacks desirability.
If a car has desirability, it makes you want to own it even though you know buying one would be a stupid thing to do. Think Fiat 500, a Citroen C6, or a Mercedes-Benz SL. Because the Panamera has nothing else in its favour, it at least needs desirability to win buyers in its favour. I cannot think why someone, however weird, would want this. As stupid as the Porsche Cayenne is, people buy it because they want the biggest, baddest, and fastest SUV on the planet. It also happens to be a Porsche.

So that is all that is left for the Porsche Panamera. It is a Porsche. If you want a Porsche that badly, buy a Boxster - it is cheaper. The Panamera will cost $250,000 plus. Perhaps the Panamera will be an excellent drive - but if you are buying a Panamera because it is an excellent drive, why not buy a 911? It will surely be a more excellent drive. Are you beginning to get my drift? There aren't any rational arguments for buying this car over something else. I'm told it will get around 500 horsepower (373kW) from it's top of the range V8, but really, what's the point of having 500 horses pulling a cart that is so ugly you wouldn't touch it with a 500-foot pole?

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